Meow Online

While I don’t particularly love having multiple sclerosis (at all), I love talking to other people with MS, I love writing articles for people with MS, I love spending my time seeing what researchers are doing to try to solve problems and stop disease progression for people with MS. I love it when other MSers agree with me and I love it when they challenge me. I love the dark humor that most of us acquire after living with multiple sclerosis for awhile, as we compare the frequency of our nighttime bathroom trips or the time that we put the ice cream away in the pantry.

That said, I am always amazed by my reaction when someone tells me that they were just diagnosed with MS and looks at me expectantly. I always get that “deer in the headlights” feeling of not quite knowing what to say (much like when your best friend tells you that she is considering naming her baby daughter Eunice and asks your opinion).

On the one hand, I have what I feel is a ton of great advice to give someone who has MS, which I have gained from research, experience and feedback from others with MS. On the other hand, I am at least moderately socially intelligent enough to know that a “brain dump” of descriptions of developments around monoclonal antibodies, incontinence tips and how to avoid injection-site reactions is not only unhelpful, it could be horrifying for someone who is just trying to absorb the news of their new MS diagnosis. (Read this article for of Tips of how to talk to people newly-diagnosed with MS.)

So, what is the best thing to say to someone who has just been diagnosed with MS?

If you haven’t been in this situation yet, you will be someday. It may be a close family member who was diagnosed or it may be an acquaintance that wants you to talk to their second cousin who is “freaking out,” having just gotten the news. Let’s examine the options for talking to “newbies” about MS:

“Having MS is not really that bad.”

Okay, this is a big, fat lie and we all know it. It is so that bad. Even if your motivation is to help someone feel better and not be scared, you risk alienating them by insulting their intelligence by downplaying the negative parts of MS. They have probably heard you bitching about it in the past (all my friends and family have) and there is a good chance that they have seen Montel Williams weeping on the Oprah show about the daily pain he endures.

“Having MS has been a blessing.”

This is a cliché, but for many people it is actually true. I have a hard time calling my MS “a blessing,” but there are some decisions that I made because of multiple sclerosis that have worked out well. I have achieved a certain mental fortitude and grace (if I do say so myself) that are the result of some of the suffering that I have endured and in the knowledge that there is undoubtedly more to come and that I will be able to handle it. However, this perspective has come with hindsight and is an ongoing attempt to look for the silver lining of the gray cloud of this disease and its symptoms. It is the coping mechanism that some of us use to rationalize the losses that we have faced (after these things have been lost). Discussing your personal “positive side” of MS is, in my opinion, not at all an appropriate approach to comforting someone who is just embarking on this journey and has not yet had a chance to intellectually, emotionally or physically process what is happening.

“Having MS is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

This is slightly less annoying than hearing someone say that MS is a blessing, but it is pretty darn scary (even if it is true). People don’t really need quite this much reality right away. Any woman that has been pregnant remembers that most mothers smiled at your growing tummy and said things like “delivery will go just fine” or “just wait until you hold that little baby,” while skipping over the gruesome details of what really happens in the delivery room. We also remember (less fondly) specific people at our baby showers who told us about “almost dying” during labor or stories of newborns in distress. Again, everyone has their own journey – maybe MS will be easier for the newly-diagnosed person, maybe harder. Don’t add to the stress of the unknown by filling in your own fear-inducing details.

“I’m sorry. Please let me know what I can do. I am here for you.”

This is the tactic that I take. I let people approach the subject in the way they are most comfortable, focusing on what is most pressing to them. Many times, people have very specific questions that they want answers to about medications, neurologist recommendations or what I do to cope with a specific symptom. They may want reassurance that it is possible to give oneself an injection, even if they are currently needle-phobic. Maybe they just want evidence that life goes on, even after an MS diagnosis, but might not be ready to hear that the “life” they are used to might change because of the MS. By being calm and available, you will be perceived as a resource for them.

Anxiety Attack Treatment is something everyone with anxiety desperately yearns for. Anxiety attacks can be very unpleasant when they start to develop. They can take the form of many different symptoms such as heart palpitations, sweating, shaking, chest pains, choking, feeling sick and feeling out of control. A panic attack is very hard to cope with when it comes on and can leave you feeling breathless.

There are many things that can trigger a panic or anxiety attack such as being too far from home or not feeling safe in your surroundings. Even physical exertion can trigger a panic attack. It can strike completely out of the blue without any warning and can even occur sometimes in your sleep!

Recurrent panic attacks can be triggered off by a situation like speaking in public or having to do something that you are scared of like flying. You can be happy and healthy but still suffer from panic attacks now and again but the good news is that panic attacks are treatable and that there are many different treatments used to help you deal with your symptoms.

You could suffer from an anxiety attack at anytime or anywhere and could be walking down the street or driving in your car or even shopping and not know why you are having an anxiety attack! The signs of a panic attack can start quickly and usually reach a peak in around 10 minutes but they rarely last for longer than 30 minutes.

Sometimes there is a tendency of panic attacks that run in families. There also seems to be a connection with anxiety attacks with major life transitions such as getting married, having a baby, graduating from college and obviously losing a loved one.

Sometimes panic attacks can be caused by a medical condition so this has to be ruled out first by a doctor. The medical conditions that can cause anxiety attacks are a Mitral valve prolapse which is a minor cardiac problem that happens when one of your heart’s valves doesn’t close properly. Also an overactive thyroid gland can cause panic attacks, as can stimulant withdrawals such as cocaine or high doses of caffeine.

Typical Anxiety Attack Treatments

Anxiety attacks can usually be treated with a series of therapy sessions such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral therapy is viewed as an effective treatment for panic attacks and makes you focus on your thinking and behavior that are starting the panic attacks. This form of treatment helps you to understand why you have having the panic attack in the first place and what you can do about it.

There are the physical sensations of panic attacks but these are controlled in a safe environment, which gives you the chance to learn better ways of coping. You will be asked to confront your fears so that the panic begins to fade away and no longer has control over you.

Medical Anxiety Attack Treatments

Medication can be used sometimes to control or reduce some of the symptoms of panic attacks. Of course this doesn’t resolve the problem but can be an effective way when it is combined with other types of therapy such as lifestyle changes and finding out the root cause of the attack.

The medications used for panic attacks are usually antidepressants, but these can take many weeks to work so you have to continue taking them on a regular basis. Benzodiazepines are also anti anxiety drugs that usually work quite quickly ranging from 30 minutes to an hour, and you take them at the first sign of an anxiety attack and they should provide rapid relief of your symptoms.

The problem with this type of medication is that is is very addictive and can have some serious withdrawal symptoms when you stop taking it.

Professional treatment and ongoing therapy can also make a big difference. There are also many things you can do to help yourself. First of all it pays if you can learn about your panic attacks as once you understand why you are having them then this will help you to relieve your distress.

You should try to learn how to control your breathing, as hyperventilation can bring on many different sensations such as tightness of the chest and feeling faint. If you can try some deep breathing then this can relieve some symptoms of a panic attack.

Yoga and meditation can help to strengthen the body’s response and promote relaxation and also increase feelings of happiness. So if you can, try to make some time for them in your daily routine.

How can you prevent panic attacks?

You can take many steps to reduce the chances of having a panic attack and also learn how to manage the anxiety attacks better. Remember that you have survived them before and you can survive them again!

It’s best to remember that there is no quick cure and that therapy does take time and that you should start with baby steps. Try not to be overly critical of yourself as a lot of people who suffer from anxiety attacks do tend to be very judgmental of themselves.

So you can see that they are many different forms of anxiety or panic attacks and that what works for one person make not work for another. Of course you may want to get professional help and there is something that can really help you on Clickback called “Panic Away” which you may want to give a try.

It explains the common cause of panic attacks and how to get lasting results with coping strategies. There is something called the Panic Loop which is a bodily sensation which can cause tightness of the chest or throat and shortness of breath.

There is a way that you can deal with the fear and confusion when your body is telling you to either fight or flight. And lastly there is the way that you can deal with the anxiety that can last for hours after a panic attack. You also learn how to avoid further panic attacks and have lessons on how you can desensitize yourself. Just remember that many people suffer from panic or anxiety attacks and have learnt how to deal with them effectively!